Express Yourself
It's important in this day and age that every website should have social context, some sort of moral compass with which to guide itself throughout the darkest corners of this world we in which we live. So to this end, I've decided to do a poll!
Current question - "Was there really any need to get rid of 2007 when we surely could have got at least a few more months wear out of it?"
Saving the World One Step At A Time - 1st Jan 2008, by Matneee
As you all know, in this modern day and age there's great pressure upon us all to all chip in and help look after the Planet. After all, it's been good to us, so it's about time we returned the favour. There's too much pollution, piles of waste are building up in huge heaps on dumping sites, and the future is bleak unless we do something about it. So, with that in mind, the New Poll question is...
"Was there really any need to get rid of 2007 when we surely could have got at least a few more months wear out of it?"
As far as I can tell 2007 was still working fine, and in these environment-conscious eco-friendly times, is it wise to treat perfectly good years this way and throw them out for new ones every 12 months like so much else in this disposable consumer society? Did we really have to get started on 2008 so soon? Surely we should be recycling years, or at least making old ones last a bit later before casting them aside like one would an unloved child who tragically grew up to look like Jamie Oliver? Anyway, as all the answers from previous polls have been carried forward to this one as is only sensible for complicated statistical reasons, it looks like a disheartening 43% of you say "YES" we did have to get rid of 2007. After all it did for you as well -You heartless uncaring bastards!
*****
Christmas Cheer - 22nd Dec 2006, by Matneee
It is with some urgency that I change the question of the poll today, as this is possibly the single most important question I have asked anyone all month. You see, I just had a phone call from one of my mates, asking if I want to get together with the boys this afternoon for a few beers and some sensible, manly conversation. Now, clearly I want to go, but the bank is about 2 minutes extra walk on the way to the pub and it's very cold outside, so I really don't want to have to go the extra distance. So, the new poll question is...
"I'm going to the pub this afternoon, but can't be arsed going to the bank. Will you lend me £15, - in fact make it £20 and I'll buy you a pint?"
We certainly aren't aftaid to face life's important questions here at The Ministry of Certain Things, are we, eh? Needless to say, the answers from all prior polls have been carried forward into this poll, so at time of opening a dissapointing majority of 41% of you say that you won't lend me the cash. After all I've done for you as well, you miserly bastards! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Anyway - get voting immediately - I'll never get drunk at this rate!
*****
Results - At time of closing, 34% said "NO", they wouldn't lend me £20, 20% of you were playing it cautious and said you "Didn't Know" if you would lend me £20, but a fantastic 43% gave a resounding "YES" and said you WOULD lend me the £20 I needed to avoid getting slightly chilly on the way to the pub. Needles to say, this is great news for me and with 1939 visitors to the site so far means I'm due a pleasing £38780 off you all. Mind you, is also means that in accordance with the original question I've got to buy a round of 1939 pints of Lager, but I feel that's a minor inconvenience considering. I'll just have to ask the barman for a tray to carry them with or something. Right - I'll be waiting down the pub for you, then. See you all in half an hour.
*****
Capital Idea - 11th Dec 2006, by Matneee
OK, another day, another addition to The Poll. This week, the buttock-clenchingly important question on the minds of the people is..
"Do you know what the Capital of Fiji is?"
This poses an interesting dilema who people who don't know, as they have to decide which of the last two answers fit's best for them. I mean, does 'Don't Know' simply mean they don't know what the capital is, or does it more disturbingly mean that they don't know if they know the answer or not? But alas, you'll have to figure that one out for yourselves. As is now traditional, the cumulative votes from all previous polls are being carried forward into this one, so at time of opening a staggering 44% of you already know what the capital of Fiji is! Who'd have thought it, eh? You're clearly more educated that I thought. I mean, no offence but look at yourselves....
Anyway. For those of you wondering, I'll give you the answer when I get bored of this poll and start a new one.
*****
Results and Answer - At time of closing, 34% said "YES", I do know what the capital of Fiji is,, 41% said "NO", I don't know what the capital of Fiji is, and a potentially worrying 25% of you inexplicably didn't seem to know if they knew what the Capital was or not. You really shouldn't be afraid to admit these things to yourselves, you know - self-denial will only make you bitter and twisted, possibly leaving you alone and afraid to make meaningful bonds with other people as your life spirals out of control into an never-ending cycle of drugs, prostitution and alcohol. Which sounds quite fun, now I come to think of it....
Anyway. Bad luck to the Tourist Board of Fiji. You really need to try harder to get the word out there, you know. But for all of you who didn't know, the Capital of Fiji is, of course, "F".
*****
Small Things - 5th Dec 2006, by Matneee
After much deliberation, I've finally came up with a question to add to the poll, so your votes are no longer going to waste...
"Should small things be bigger, so they're easier to pick up?"
Brillliant, eh? Your vote actually matters now, so there's no excuse not to leave your mark on the world. Just to make sure people who have already voted don't feel left out I'm carrying the results from the previous poll over into this one. So votes made prior to this question count as well! How good is that?
*****
Results - At time of closing, 44% said "YES", Small things should be bigger, 24% said "NO", Small things shouldn't be bigger, and 32% couldn't make their minds up. So it looks like we'll be seeing a lot of bigger small things in future. Bad luck to all the traditionalists out there who voted 'no'.
*****
The Poll - 31st Nov 2006, by Matneee
Don't worry too much about the question just yet - I'll fill that in later when I've come up with one that's suitably important. But in the mean time, please vote however you feel best fits your personal attitude. And remember - you're taking part in exciting and important research here, so be truthful!